Been around the world & found that only stupid people are breeding…

I swear, there must be an “ignorant” gate at my workplace’s phone lines. It never fails to amaze me how stupid people are…how WILLFULLY stupid people are!

Just some background, I work for a major credit card company, on their Internet team. My job is basically to verify merchant websites to make sure they meet our operating regulations AND that they’re set up correctly for credit cards. This job entails running test sales through these sites to check their programming and site security.

Now I should note here that websites will ask for address information with your credit card number as a security precaution; quite a few sites won’t run the sale “live”, but send the sale info to the merchant to run offline later. I’ll further note that the test cards we use to run the fake transactions will ALWAYS decline. Now, we *used* to use an actual address on our test cards (the address of our HQ), but had to STOP using that address because these bloody stupid people would SHIP the merchandise without actually running the sale, then call us all irate & upset because when they did run the sale, it declined, and they’d already shipped the merchandise. Let’s just say it was real fun explaining to HQ why they kept getting shipments of porn vids and leave it at that, OK?

So now we use an obviously fake address (123 test in the city of nowhere, name of test test or test card…you get the idea). We put in any comment boxes that it’s a test transaction. AND WE STILL GET SEVERAL CALLS A DAY FROM MERCHANTS WANTING TO TALK TO “TEST CARD” or “TEST TEST” to ask for alternate payment. I’m talking native-english-speaking-US-native people, here!

But wait…wait…it gets better…

So one of my colleagues had to verify a website for one outlet of a major pizza chain (which shall remain nameless); this chain has a main homepage, and when you enter your billing info, it sends you to the specific site for the store nearest you in your area. Got it? So in order to make sure the test transaction went to the specific store we were testing, we had to put in that particular store’s address as the billing/delivery address. So my colleague places the order using the *store’s address* …under “test card”, with “test transaction” noted in the comments…and 20 minutes later, we got a call from that store, from an angry MANAGER, wanting to *speak* to Test Card, because THEY’D ALREADY MADE UP THE PIZZA & COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHERE TO DELIVER IT.

Like, lady, didn’t you realize it was your OWN ADDRESS before you made the order??

But wait, it gets better…

Another on our team got to speak to another angry merchant, who’d made up 200 business cards with “Test Card” on them because of our test transaction (again, if they’d run the card first, it would’ve declined!)….

I spoke to yet ANOTHER merchant who wanted a better ship-to address for the laptop computer “Test Test” ordered, because UPS returned the first shipping attempt to “nowhere, Illinois”…(oh, DAMN my honesty!)…

And MAN, you would CRY if you realized the sheer number of people who set up Internet businesses with NO IDEA how they’re gonna get paid for their sales…and then call us months/years(!) later wanting to know where their money is…

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