No, I’m not a shill for Dr. Pepper.

hoo boy. This is one for the unintentionally-hilarious records.

For those who may not know, Columbus, OH is one of the test markets. We get new products & new stores before the rest of the US does, as we’re considered a good sampling of the rest of the US population.

So, with that in mind, Dr. Pepper recently debuted its “Berries & Cream” version. It’s tasty (think Dr. Pepper with tart raspberry & a bare hint of vanilla) — I usually hate flavored pops because they’re too cloyingly sweet (all those flavored Coke crap things, ICK). Hell, I don’t even normally drink Dr. Pepper; I only tried this because a coworker was raving about it.

So I was impressed enough with this new Dr. Pepper product that I decided, what the hell, give their consumer comment line a call & let them know & hopefully maybe get free coupons or samples or at least nudge their corporate cheeses to keep this one around. So I call and get their automated system; the live representatives are only there M-F. No big deal. I stay on the line, thinking just to leave a message on an automated voice mail.

I’m listening to the various options, and hear: “If this is a true medical emergency requiring immediate personal attention, press 9”.

:lmao: Oooooookay. What idiot calls a Soda Pop customer comments line with a true medical emergency??

Yeah. You’re thinking “allergies”. Not unless you want to be a swift example of Darwinism in action. You’d call the line BEFORE you had a reaction to find out exactly what was in the pop before you drunk it. If you’re having said reaction, the pop company is the last place you’d call. And your friends/family wouldn’t call it either…unless they’re wanting to collect really big on your insurance (“Hey, Mom’s dying from allergies! Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!”)

911 or die, folks.

Just so you know I’m not making this up: 1-888-DRPEPPER.

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