And in the Ho You Gonna Believe Dept.

Paris Hilton Says She’s Going Celibate

That’ll be the longest 60 seconds of her life.

And in related news today:

Researchers claim again that Music Is The Root Of All Sexy Evil

…hello? Remember this?

So if a teen really really really wants laid, they need to make a virginity pledge while listening to their iPod. YEAH!

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