Order Of The Dark Phoenix Is Rising…

oh. my. god.

I just came back from “Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix.”

Oh. My. GODS.

This is the best of all the movies so far. Fair warning: because the BOOK is, THIS movie is also the darkest of the series so far. The opening sequence grabs you (Harry & Dudley vs The Dementors), and is bloody terrifying; most of the actors are dead-bang-perfect for their roles (Umbridge is a pink-clad sadistic sociopathic catlady; Bellatrix Lestrange — OMG — is AWESOME for the short time she’s onscreen, watch her face during the whole end sequence; Luna Lovegood just OWNS the screen when she’s on; and Dan Radcliffe has grown too well into his role). And the ending sequence/fight plays much BETTER than what’s in the book – the whole bit with Voldemort possessing Harry is far more believable, as is how Harry drives him out. For the most part, the changes had the feeling of “this is what Rowling SHOULD have written”, not “holy crap, they changed what???”.

Okay. Go see it.

On to the next rant.

Some lucky people will get the trailer for The Golden Compass before Harry Potter; that’s what our friends got at the midnight premiere.

Not us. We got…:shudder: … The Dark Is Rising.

For those not familiar with Susan Cooper’s books, The Dark Is Rising is a series of childrens books set in England and dealing with much Celtic/Welsh/Briton pre-Christian mythological themes. Please note the words “England” and “pre-Christian”. These are subtle, thinking books.

When the TRAILER has me going “What…the…FUCK…” out loud in a theater full of children, something is very wrong.

When they set the film in America and make the lead character American, something is very fucked up — you can NOT take the aforementioned mythology out of the books nor set the books in America, because that totally GUTS the story into nonsense.

When they give the kid super-powers (which he does not have in the books, see the previous comment about subtle/thinking), something goes way past fucked up & enters the realm of “Dear gods, let this be a practical joke.”

When I further found out that Walden Media was doing the film & was trying to position this as a Christian film…it not only passed fucked-up at supersonic speeds, trampled the realm of practical joke, and careened straight into the brick wall of utter, disbelieving horror.

Look, any & all Christian friends here, I have NOTHING against Christian kids lit. I LOVE Narnia; I bitched when I saw Disney’s TV version of “Wrinkle in Time” because they took the Christianity OUT of it. Hell, my favorite kids-wizard series of all-time is Diane Duane’s “So You Want To Be A Wizard/Deep Wizardry/High Wizardry” (pre-Potter, Duane bases her wizardry & stories on Judeo-Christian mysticism; excellent reads!).

However, The Dark Is Rising is NOT Christian. It’s pre-Christian, Celtic/Welsh mythology. You cannot posit these stories as Christian, not without changing the stories so drastically that it’s no longer “The Dark Is Rising”.

I did a little more searching, and the more I find out about this movie, the more that brick wall of utter, disbelieing horror keeps crashing into me, over & over & over. For a full accounting of the Bullshit, check Oz And Ends excellent articles on it; make sure you hit the links at the end for the most recent news on the travesty.

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