God’s not just an Iron, he’s Emo Phillips on Meth…

Ok. Here I sit, too jittery to sleep.

Brett takes his final medical billing certification test tomorrow. When he passes, he’ll be a fully certified medical coder, Apprentice. He’s already had one job interview (which he turned down), and he’s got a second interview Tuesday (without help from the school), with his school in process of setting up more interviews for him…

*breathes*

So MY workplace decided it was time to haul my little team back for a private meeting to let us know that…”Well, remember when we said that you weren’t gonna be affected by all the layoffs? Um. We lied.”

OK, OK, not “lied”…well, not my immediate managers, anyway. UPPER upper management, though, decided that we had too many people, so now we’re officially “impacted”.

I expected this, actually, and I’m HAPPY about it.

For months, I’ve been fighting major depression; I’ve been falling into tears at work, been barely able to concentrate. I hate the place. It’s not that it’s a bad place to work — it’s actually one of the better corporate atmospheres I’ve encountered.

But it’s that word…”corporate”.

I’m not corporate. And it’s been hitting me hard all these past months just how NOT CORPORATE I am, to the point that the moment I walk in the door, I’m pissed and angry over having to go into a grey space to do work that no one seems to care about, that I don’t care about, that’s taking time away from my writing and life. It’s been a long, slow burn since starting work at that place.

How I’ve put up with it for 9 years, I’ll never know.

But I can place all the trouble that started with my writing & art to about the time I started work there, in that grey corporate cubicle mess. Before that, I worked in a bookstore (Waldenbooks), and loved every minute of it, even the Christmas chaos; I only left because the current place offered far more money.

Money’s not everything. THANK you, gods, for taking 9 years to pound that into my skull.

Happy for a potential layoff? Hell yeah. But I admit that I was hoping it’d not happen for another year, to give Brett more time to settle into his chosen field.

Oh well. We’ll deal.

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