I face down dragons. I LAUGH at orcs. I chase intruders out of my apartment with a broadsword while half-awake and naked.

So what does me in?

One freaked-out black & white kitten screaming GETTHEFRAKAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYMEEEEOOOOORRRWEEREWRE!!!! as she freaks over a neighbor’s dog — whom she’s seen any number of times before and said dog is several feet away, not even by our window, just sitting on the stoop of the other building — and kitten screams and scrambles and her escape route…

…is right over my desk, my bare lap and shorts-clad legs.

7 inch gashes on both thighs.


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