Memories, dreams, healing
Okay, okay, “SLAVIC” Nut Rolls. Dad's side of my family hails from near the borders of the old Austrian-Hungarian Empire (what’s used to be Czechoslovakia), and they’ve always claimed to be “Czech”, though the recipe itself (along with all the other goodies that side of the family made at Christmas) is Hungarian. While the dough … Continue reading Hungarian/Czech Nutrolls
So I sit here listening to Great Big Sea's "Come & I Will Sing You". The band claimed it's not a Christmas song, since there's many similar counting songs from many Euro cultures that aren't tied to the Winter holidays, but it's hard to separate such songs from Christmas, thanks to the ubiquitous "12 Days". … Continue reading On Gifts, Music, & The Season
So this Christmas, I'm learning exactly what I mean to my family. Absolutely nothing. Last year, there were no calls, no invites, nothing, not for Thanksgiving, Christmas, nor for New Years. Normally they at least call; normally the call is asking if we're coming down, what our plans are. Last year, I'd sent my usual … Continue reading Merry Fuckin’ Christmas.
So while I was in college for my undergrad degree (Ohio University, in Athens OH), I worked summers at Kings' Island, the local "big" amusement park. Hours were long, the work tiring as hell, but I still enjoyed it -- I was assigned to a burger stand in the kid's section of the park, near … Continue reading The Day I Finally Grew a Vag
So. There's been no calls from my parents or sisters at all for Thanksgiving: no invitations to come down, no calls to say "Happy whatever" -- in the past, they've usually been the ones to call, since they get free long distance via their cells phones. It's their house, their meal, they issue the invites. … Continue reading Yet more abusive fuckery
(another letter from the same "family vacation" as the last post). Aug 2, 1997, Dear Husband: So yesterday Dad drove us out to Newfound Gap, a big tourist spot because -- I kid you not -- of a border sign in the parking lot that says "Tennessee" on one side and "North Carolina" on the … Continue reading Smoky Mountain Memories Pt 2
(transcribed from letters & my journal written at the time. My parents had decided to have a "big family vacation"; Husband wanted to go, but his workplace screwed his schedule over. I got talked into going anyway and ended up with Mom, Dad, my youngest sister (YS, with whom I shared the hotel room), my … Continue reading Smoky Mountain Memories: 1997
So we visited Husband's side of the family for Christmas a few years back. His aunt lives by herself in the Ohio Valley; every time we've gone there, we're usually the only visitors -- his cousins might drop by for a bit, but that's it. That year, though, his sister (my sister in law, aka … Continue reading Shitty day
Finding the courage to write these has been terrifying. I find myself backing away, minimizing the hurt & the damage, the "oh it wasn't that bad" inner voice. But I must. The memories are splinters embedded in my heart for years; they're infected, painful to touch, agony to try to pull out. Maybe it's best … Continue reading Doing the Pagan Weddin’ Rag…
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